Counselling Psychology | Consultant Psychology | Clinical Supervision

Her name was Lola..

“..she was a showgirl”…for weeks I was singing this song in my head when I first got my little puppy, flown all the way from Cyprus over to me. Not even four months old, my mediterranean rescue and fellow lover of the sun, was found with her mom and siblings in a cave near a busy road, Lola might not have had the ideal start to life, but boy did she make up for lost time- for the year she has been with me, Lola has a knack of stealing the hearts of almost (there is always one) everyone she meets. Cool, calm and collected (unless there are squirrels around) she explores the world around her in the safe knowledge that she is loved in a massive way.

See, this little, wonderful furry creature has already taught me so many lessons of what it means to live well- even though in my heart (and slightly deluded head) I think she is the cleverest creature there is, I do know that her thinking processes may not be a complex as say, mine, but- when I watch her approach a new or old feline buddy for example, I am always impressed at her behaviour: she will never shy away from showing her enthusiasm over seeing someone she likes, likewise, if she is not really up for someone she will make that pretty damn clear, fast and will never be bothered over what anyone may or may not think of her..well, probably because, let’s be honest, her and her buds chase sticks and squeaky balls and think that’s the best thing ever.

What I learned from her is that it is perfectly okay to follow my heart and just be real, if I like someone, they will know about it and if I don’t, well, I won’t scoff at them, but I have learned to stand up for my own space and stand my ground when I feel my boundaries are being pushed. And the greatest thing about that- the more I started being firm about the things I like, want and feel I need, the more of exactly what I asked for I did actually receive in return and that, for me, has made my life a lot easier. By stopping to try and please everyone around me and looking at what it is that I need, I have taken the time to both address my own needs and caved a way to fulfil them myself rather than having to hope (and often dream) about others fulfilling them.

So, in my search for a life well lived I sometimes look to my sidekick and wonder- what would Lola do?

Where do you turn to find out what makes you feel good?